New Years Resolutions!

For years I would make New Years resolutions with over ambition. I would over excitedly think I was going to lose that 3 stone in a year, read 40 books and stop using my laptop to mindlessly surf the Internet and be a positive, enlightened person who judges no one all in 365 days. I’ve learned that they usually end in complete failure! I usually end up feeling very deflated and sometimes, in the opposite direction of where I wanted to be. There was so much pressure I put on myself to do great things that more often than not I pulled back and ate more from stress, got put off reading because I “had” to do it. 

I used to own a little notebook where I wrote down my to do lists, no matter how small the task “clean room, buy post it notes, lose 1lb, finish such a book” and ticking off things on this list made me feel accomplished, so I decided that making smaller, more attainable goals for New Years would be better and easier to achieve, therefore making me feel better at the end of the year. Things like “laugh more, lose 1lb by February (knowing I’ll be eating more and be busier so I’ll have less time on the gym), go to more festivals, unsubscribe for useless emails”. This will make me feel like I’m actively tackling my list of resolutions and I won’t feel so guilty or be angry at myself either. 

So instead of making huge goals that you know are going to be difficult to achieve or just not done at all, work slowly but surely towards your goals. Don’t forget it’s not just the new year that you can set goals for yourself! Instead of saying “I’m going to lose two stone this year” try saying “I’m aiming to lose 6lbs by June” and then work from there depending on work and events etc. You won’t feel so bad then if you don’t lose two stone this year, you can keep reaching through till next year until you get there. 

So to sum it up, the New Year makes people feel like they need to create a whole new self within a short amount of time, and as is human nature we need to have it done now and in the biggest way possible with maximum effect in order to make us feel like we made any kind of difference. But slow and steady wins the race!

XO

A little hiatus (again)

This is a little post just to announce (this sounds very pretentious and I'm very sorry) a hiatus that I feel I need to take from this blog. It's not that I don't have an interest in this anymore, because I do. I just feel like I'm not in a right place mentally right now to write in any kind of cohesive way, I feel like a lot of my recent posts are just not up to scratch and I'm not pleased. I have a few personal issues I need to work out before I come back to putting words together in a sentence that makes any kind of sense (did that even make sense?). This is a new kind of mental issue that I've kind of considered in the past but thought "Nah, I can't be" but lately it's been getting worse and worse. It seems to be a vicious circle as i feel like it's directly caused my weight gain and in turn I'm stressed, and when I'm stressed my body holds on to extra weight, and then I'm getting stressed about the fact I'm stressed and knowing that it's holding weight in my body! It's one of those things that looking in on from the outside it's very easy to see if I just stopped stressing it could be ok, but from an inside perspective it's really not that easy at all, and then if you consider all the other factors then we're really in deep! But that's for another day...maybe! So for now I'll take a little break (because I've never done that a million times before), maybe I'll post every now and then but perhaps not. We'll see! 

XO

It's Been Hard Work

I have found it so difficult to get back into anything at all lately, since we've been back from Portugal I've found it very hard to have the motivation to go to the gym or to write posts. I've been back three weeks and have only managed to go to the gym a handful of times and of course work also plays into that as sometimes I don't have the time to go, and I'm too tired to even think of writing. I'll post a few photos of my time in Portugal on a different post maybe...if I can get back into sitting down and blogging.

I have to retrain my brain into a lot of things to be honest, blogging, healthy eating, positive thinking. I forgot how hard it is to try and get into the swing of things, it's been very hard to not compare myself to others and it's very hard to keep positive bout my weight loss when I've kind of fluctuated between 3 or so lbs for the past two weeks (I.e, I'm very behind on where I'd like to be). Ever since I've come home from Portugal all I've craved is take aways and Macdonalds and coke (I've never ever craved coke so this is worrying for me as I can feel myself being more tired than usual and I'm putting that down to the high sugar drinks). Coming up to my holiday I was entering my exercise and food on myfitnesspal every single day and I have not put one entry in in the past month! 

Hopefully this is the start to getting myself back into things! I'm sorry this probably hasn't been a very interesting post, I hope by the end of this weekend I'll have a few more things written up!


XO

What I Bring on my Carry On

In the front pocket of my bag I pack all my small items so I don't have to go digging around for ages just to find a lipbalm that's happened to jiggle its way down to the very bottom of my bag and hidden amongst my shorts! So, in the front pocket I pack my iPod and earphones with an earphone holder to avoid tangles, a lipbalm (I'm bringing Malibu Lipcare, I've written a post reviewing it recently and you can find it over here), hand cream because my hands get so dry after washing them, hand sanitizer, my mini factor 50 suncream just in case, my Travello which I've filled with Hollisters Silver Strand Beach body spray because it strangely calms me when I'm feeling anxious, my anti-anxiety tablets and my phone to keep it handy. 

Just in case my suitcase gets lost or delayed I'm bringing an extra change of clothes that I can switch between during my stay so I'm packing shorts, underwear and a t-shirt at the bottom of my bag. Then I throw in all the rest! My selfie stick in case we get bored while we wait for our flight and we can take cheesy group photos, a book to keep me occupied, my wallet, passport, tickets, sunglasses case with sunglasses, my camera so it doesn't get jostled around in my suitcase (I feel much safer with it on me) and my phone charger.



XO

Monthly Goals May: In Review

Buy holiday bits

I have everything essential on my list bought. The only thing I have left are things I added during the week that I could probably do without like a new handcream, a new nail file etc.

Control portion sizes 

My stomach seems to have shrunk, I just can't eat the same as I used to (thank god) so it's been a lot easier to control my portion sizes.

Tone up a small bit 

I've been doing weights and at home exercises quite a bit this month, I haven't noticed any real changes but my inner thighs have been getting a little smaller and my sides don't seem to be as "soft" so that's pretty good for the amount I've done any workouts. 

Get phone fixed

This still hasn't happened, mainly because by the time I had the money I got some work for a few weeks and just haven't had the time to go get it fixed. Sigh.

Finish reading Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

This also hasn't happened but I've gotten a few more chapters read!


XO

Monthly To Do: June

1. Lose 4lbs 

2. Save money

3. Finish one book

4. Book the hotel for July wedding

5. Book hotel for Paolo Nutini 


XO

May favourites

Little Chief 
These are a band I came across recently and I immediately fell in love with them, they have quite a similar sound to Mumford & Sons, who are one of my favourite bands. Unfortunately for me, and in true Murphys Law fashion, they broke up two weeks before I found out who they even were. Great.

M.A.C Lightscapade 
This highlighter is absolutely perfect for paler skin, it gives the perfect glow without being too shimmery and I either use it as a highlighter on my cheeks, nose and my forehead or either as a slight all over dusting if my make up is too matte or dull. 

Malibu Lip Balm
This is the only lip balm I've found that actually heals my lips, I've written a bit more about it over here. I love the scents, the healing power and the fact that they have SPF 30 in them! 

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
This book has saved my sanity so may times. I had left it down for a long time and pretty recently I had a bad bout of negativity and in turn that resulted in anxiety and some severe down moments so I decided I need to pick this book up again. It gives some very insightful points on a lot of things I've been struggling with lately, for example, my anxiety with plans changing out of my control.

Tracker bars
These bars. I can't get enough of them! I love them all, the peanut ones, the white chocolate ones or the regular chocolate chips ones. I would eat boxes of these if I was able to!

XO

What Make-up I Bring on Holidays

When I'm on holiday I like to try and keep my make-up as minimal as possible, I wear hardly any make-up during the day because A) It's too much effort and B) It's way too hot to be wearing a face of make-up, and then at night if we decide to go out for dinner I usually just use a simple two colour eyeshadow look and some eyeliner. I also want to keep it light so that I'm not carrying a million things and weighing down my case, I usually like to keep it to a one make-up bag limit! This may seem like a lot when it's listed out but keep in mind they're mostly small items and a few things like my bronzer and blusher I de-potted and put in to my pallet with my eyeshadows to save space. 


Face 

L'oreal Nude Magique BB Cream

Maybelline Better Skin concealer (depotted)

Benefits Sugarbomb blush

 Benefits Hoola bronzer

M.A.C Soft & Gentle highlighter

Eyebrows

Benefit gimme brow

Sleek eyebrow powder in medium

                                                    

Eyes 

Rimmel Glam'Eyes Professional liquid eyeliner

BareMinerals Ready Shadow Liner 2.0 

Make-up Geek T: Corrupt & Barcelona Beach 
B: Vanilla Bean & Crème Brûlée 

Benefit They're Real! mascara

Maybelline Collosal Go Extreme Volume waterproof mascara
 

Lips

Rimmel Kate Moss Lasting Finish lipstick in 03

M.A.C lipstick in Vegas Volt

M.A.C lipstick in Candy Yum Yum

XO

Malibu Lipcare Lip Protection: Review

Around two weeks ago I was wandering around town and doing a spot of shopping holiday essentials, picking up a few beauty bits for when we go away and I stumbled across this trio pack of lip balms by Malibu and to be honest a sun protector for my lips completely left my mind when I was making a list for things to pack, so I grabbed them immediately.

The pack had three different flavours, Mint, Watermelon and Vanilla. The scents of these are just, wow, I can barely find words to tell you how delicious these are. The vanilla smells exactly like M.A.C lipsticks and it's so so delicious, I can't stop picking this up and taking a sniff of it! The Mint smells like chocolate chip ice-cream and exactly like Lushs Mask of Magnaminty if you've ever owned it or even taken a whif in one of the Lush stores, it's just delicious. Last but not least the watermelon. It smells like these Pokemon lollypops I used to get as a kid, it's a nice, sweet watermelon scent, not too overpowering and very summery. I love them all I don't think I could really pick a favourite one. 

These don't just smell good, the do good too! The have an SPF of 30 and protect against UVA and UVB rays and they're waterproof too so they won't wash off in the pool or the sea and you can leave the worries of burnt lips behind and enjoy the water! One thing I noticed about these lip balms, and to be honest it's my favourite thing about them, is that they are super moisturising. I suffer from dry, cracked lips and I've never really found an amazing lip balm that immediately solved my problems. The day I got these put one in my carry on bag and one in my beauty bag for my suitcase (yes I'm packing already...) and I put one in my bedside drawer, that night I applied my vanilla lip balm before bed and when I woke up in the morning my lips were completely healed, I was so shocked! I have never owned a lip balm that has not only healed my lips but healed my lips overnight (which will come in handy if you ever do get dry, burnt lips). I feel like this is my holy grail lip balm and I'm just praying they won't fall into the depths of the black hole in my house where all my hair pins, hair ties, pens and other lip balms end up and that I can keep hold of them all! 

XO

My Favourite Nail Polishes for Summer

I love nail polishes. I mean I really love them, I think the last time I counted I had approximately 76? And that was a while ago I've bought a few more since then so I don't even know what I'm close to now. Because I have a large selection of nail polishes, I have quite a few summer favourites (8 to be exact) and one bonus.

To begin with I want to mention O.P.Is Cajun Shrimp which is a beautiful coral colour which is more on the red side, the only downside I have for this polish is that is doesn't last very long and begins to show wear only a day after I've applied it, I'm not sure if this is the same with all O.P.I colours or if it's just this shade because this is the only colour I own from them. A perfect dupe for this colour is Barry M's Matte nail paint in Copa Cobana, obviously the only difference is that it's matte so you could always just use a glossy top coat to fix that if that's not something you're in to.

Another beautiful coral shade which is more of a true coral is Essence Colour and Go in Off to Miami. I really love this colour, it's a new one in my collection and so far it's really impressed me. I've worn it quite a few times already and the wear time and
formula both seem to be pretty high on the scale to me. 

This next one might not be for everyone, it's Models Own Beach Party and it's a neon orange shade. I think this looks great on both pale and tanned skin and I think it would be wonderful for holidays. It's very bright and fun and really gets me in the summer spirit! 

Another orange this time but not quite as neon and in your face as Beach Party. Barry M's gelly hi-shine nail paint in Mango. This is a more toned down, but still bright orange colour and it's another colour that I think would be perfect for sun holidays. It's loud but not abrasive and the gelly formula is one of the best ones Barry M has to offer in my opinion. 

Next we move on to the only pink shade in my collection, Barry M's gelly hi-shine nail paint in Grapefruit. It's in the middle of a barbie pink and a neon pink, again the gelly fomula makes this look amazing. It's not too bright and not too muted, perfect for the summer. 

 I love the look of white nail polish and a tan. I think it looks classy and understated and very simple, not to mention it goes with just about everything! One of my favourites is NYC's Pinstripe White, it's one of the only white polishes I found in my limited selection of brands in my town, I find the wear time to be pretty medium on this one.

Models Own have an incredible mint green colour called Apple Pie that looks so amazing, and everytime I wear it I can't stop looking at it! Not to mention the best part about this polish, it's scented! When it dries it smells like apples and it's a-maz-ing, this really smells so good and, to me at least, not sickly sweet or too fake of a scent. 

Another Barry M colour now, and my favourite blue ever ever ever! Cyan Blue is an incredibly bright, unique blue and this is the colour I wore most last summer and it's a colour that I don't have anything similar to. It looks so great on either pale or tanned skin, it's so vibrant and fun and it puts me in a good mood whenever I wear it! It lasts really well as most Barry M polishes do, it needs maybe one or two coats to have a nice coverage. 

BONUS!!
The reason I didn't include this colour in the main section is because I'm not entirely sure if it's possible to get this nail polish anymore, it's Rimmels Apricot Punch for the I heart fruties collection. The colour isn't anything super impressive, it's a really lovely peachy orange, it's not too bright but it's beautiful, but it's another scented polish. 

XO

Mental Health Mondays: How Social Networking is Bad for your Soul

In these days of such vast internet access and millions of social forums and networks at every click of a link and for every possible demographic it's pretty much an impossible task getting away from the image of 'perfect' men and women. Personally I feel like it's a much more vicious world for teens and children to be growing up in, they have so much access to things I never even thought about at their age. When I was a child I was made play outside with my friends, the most technologically advanced item I had was my gameboy and a second hand playstation which I was allowed play for an hour and a half at a time. When I got a little older, growing into my tween stages, I was allowed an hour on the dial up internet every evening, and I was allowed watch four shows maximum on the telly before (or after) my homework and then I was told to use my imagination or read. To be honest I didn't really mind too much about not being allowed on all these gadgets, I mean I wanted to play for hours when I was on them but once I was kicked off I had so much fun and enjoyment playing by myself I pretty much forgot about it. Kind of like getting baths when you're little. Now it's very hard for kids to get away from this stuff, if they have a phone they have instagram and tumblr, they have TV with the image of "perfection" printed all over it, Youtube stars who present themselves in ways that make kids envious of things like "relationship goals" that they really can't even fully understand (because let's be honest we all thought we knew everything about love and sex and how to be happy when we were kids and teens only to be proved so wrong in the future).

It wasn't until I was maybe 16 that I really started getting sucked in online and on social platforms like Myspace, Bebo and Soulkool. Now as a twenty-three year old adult (if I can call myself such) I find it quite hard to get away from "Tumblr perfect" bodies or people constantly competing on Facebook. It's quite difficult some days to scroll through my Tumblr feed and see constant images of beautiful, sexy women that I know I don't look anything like, especially as someone who struggles with her weight and how confident she feels in clothes, not to mention how I only see myself as someone with a pretty bland looking face. Comparing yourself to someone online is the worst habit anyone can have and I found it much easier when I was a teen and a child to be, maybe not confident, but comfortable with myself especially as a child I didn't know there was any such thing as a "perfect aesthetic". Some days when I feel low about myself I don't even go on some websites because it just drives my self esteem down so low. 

This is all coming from a grown woman who hasn't been exposed to a whole lot of the social media body bashing type things for a majority of her life. I cannot even begin to imagine how young girls and boys and teenagers are dealing with things like this. It's difficult enough to go through puberty and school and coming to terms with your body and the fact you can't change things about yourself, the fact you shouldn't feel like you have to because you're bombarded with images of "perfect" bodies and faces. Now don't get me wrong if you're naturally slim or you want to look fit that's entirely fine, what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to look like that. People are born completely differently for good reason. 

I'm not going to lie, I wish I had a different face, a different body. If you asked me even a year ago, what would I change about myself I would easily pick something I could change with just about every part of me. Nowadays I'm more comfortable, not happy, but comfortable with bits of me, there's things I could still change but I've come to terms with them. The more you compare yourself to others, and the more you concentrate on others and not on you, the worse it is for your health. Your soul needs to be happy and it needs to be nourished, it needs all of your attention. When you put all your attention on how you wish you looked like someone else you put negative attention on yourself and in turn your heart will get heavy, your head will get heavy and you may never know what it's like to be truly happy. Over a year ago I was single, I wasn't in the market for any kind of relationship so I was only focused on me, I didn't care who found me attractive because I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I took on the mindset of someone who felt good about herself and that's all that mattered. If someone didn't like me who cared? Now since being in a relationship things got a little harder, not through any fault of my boyfriend by any means, this was all past experiences with relationships that came back to haunt me. Am I good enough for him to stay? What if there's someone prettier/skinnier than me? What if he finds someone else more attractive? Despite the fact I've never felt so loved by any one human on earth, or the fact he's never given me any reason to think this, and all his talks with me about how he feels about me and how attracted he is to me and no one else would take his eye there's still a little nagging monster deep deep in my head that niggles at me and whispers all these nasty things.

For a long time the only reason I was on Facebook was because my friend puts up photos of her son that I love seeing, and my best friend was living in Australia for a while and it was the only real contact I had with her. She's back now though so I decided to stop going on Facebook for my health, now I rarely go on it, I check maybe once in the evening to make sure I don't forget birthdays but that's pretty much it. I try not go on Tumblr too often either now, until I can learn to love myself the way I did when I didn't have anyone I was afraid of losing. It's important to concentrate on myself and be confident in who I am because what's happened is my anxiety has come back slightly, and stress is all too prevalent with my weight. I need to focus, relax and realise that there are things I can't change and there are things other people that I'm envious of want to change about themselves too and everyone has something they don't like about themselves so please, if you feel the same, don't panic too much.

XO

My April Favourites

Elliptical.
I started using the elliptical in my gym recently and I never realised how great it is, I burn almost double the calories I burn when I'm using the treadmill and I find it fun because it's new but I also think it's so much easier to do interval training on it.

Make up Geek Eyeshadows.
I received some make up geek shadows for Christmas and I love them so much, they are so easy to apply, incredibly pigmented, soft and easy to blend and cheap too, not to mention delivery is super quick. They're the only eyedhadows I've used since I got them, I got more for my birthday this month so I'm really looking forward to playing around with those.

Bobs Burgers.
I've loved Bobs Burgers for the longest time but last month I began to watch them from the very beginning all over again and I still couldn't stop laughing! You can catch season 1 to 4 on Netflix if you want to check them out.

Nivea in Shower Body Moisturiser.
I got a sample of this a while ago but only used it recently, and I instantly fell in love! I picked up a full size and not only does it smell nice and very comforting it really leaves your skin feeling so smooth and soft long after your shower! It's incredible. 

Rimmel Match Perfection.
This is my favourite drug store foundation that I've ever used. And that is not something I say lightly! I don't think I'd ever use anything else unless it gets taken off the market (please don't do that Rimmel!) I have a full review of this on my blog if you'd like to read it, and I'll leave it right here in case you do.



XO

My 24th Birthday

Tuesday

The start of my birthday week! My cousin and best friend in the entire world, Jen, and I had plans for dinner on Thursday but some work commitments came up and we had to change it to Tuesday, she traveled down after work and we had decided to go to a lovely little Italian in my town and she treated me to a lovely birthday dinner! For starters we shared some fritelli, which are deep fried pizza dough strips with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, parmesan cheese, and some garlic and it really was amazing! Of course I forgot to take a picture before we demolished it but it was just so tasty and wonderful, I think I'd eat it every day with ease. For our main we both ordered a "make your own" pizza, Jen picked sweetcorn and I had chicken and pepperoni on mine while we shared a side order of chips and it was all so good and so yummy, the sauce was not too sweet like I find with a lot of pizzas and it was thin based without being too hard or crispy. Yum!

 

Wednesday

My mam made my favorite meal for me today because she's going to be working late the day of my actual birthday and we all wouldn't be able to eat together that day. She makes this amazing cannelloni dish with minced chicken, spinach, onion, garlic and mushrooms, covered in a white sauce and cheese and popped into the oven. Oh. My. God. This is easily my favourite pasta dish ever ever ever. I love having this once in a blue moon (usually on my birthday) because it makes it ten times more delicious and it's a lovely little treat and something special to look forward to. For desert she made this absolutely incredible toblerone cheesecake with a biscotti base. It was all so amazing and made with love, I even got called to lick the spoon after the cheesecake was made! 

Thursday 

Today I met up with my other best friend in the whole world, Leona. We went to one of our old haunts and she treated me to lunch in Road House which is a little 50's inspired diner, something like Eddie Rockets but it's an independent restaurant, not a chain and we've been going there since we've been about 13 or 14 years old. It's an old favourite. After a great lunch we popped around town and had a look in a few shops and I picked up the fabulous sheets you see in the very fist photos with all the little tribal elephants and also a waterproof mascara for holidays which just so happened to be on sale and I didn't know about it until I went to the till, I was a happy little lady!

Friday

The big day! I started off my morning by going to the gym, I had been doing extra in the gym all week to combat the extra indulgent food I'd be eating all week long. Then I saw my boyfriend and we went to Eddie Rockets to get our weekly treat, a burger and sweet potatoe fries! I also received some beautiful presents from him which included some make up geek eyeshadows and ardell lashes (because we can't get them so readily here in Ireland, at least not in any surrounding areas of my home town). Make up Geek are definitely my favourite eyeshadows right now, they are so easy to blend, they feel so buttery and smooth and the colour payoff is just out of this wold.

 

(Left to right: Purely Naked, Cocoa Bear, Crème brûlée)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then he surprised me with a beautiful Alex and Ani bracelet with a hummingbird charm which has the meaning : Awakening | Healing | Eternity and I just about cried when he handed it to me because when we were in the jewelers the week before, the shop assistant had mentioned it was the last one and when Kealan had come to me saying it was gone when he went to buy it I have to admit I was heartbroken. My friend Leona also gave me an Alex and Ani braclet with the tree of life charm which stands for: Hope | Conservation | Growth. I love these bracelets a lot and I love adding to my collection, they're so beautiful and elegant and you can wear them dressed up or casual.

 

Friday night I was considering on having a few quite drinks in the pub to celebrate but during the day my anxiety got pretty bad and I decided that paired with the crowds of a Friday night it was probably best just to sit in and have a glass of wine with my boyfriend. 

Saturday

Saturday night we went to Kealans aunts house to watch the big fight between Mayweather and Pacquiao with a bunch of people to celebrate his cousin Siobhans birthday, although this night had nothing to do with my birthday specifically it was an excuse to have a few drinks! We all had so much fun, enough drinks to feed a small pub, great food and laughs.

Sunday

Ahh Sunday. A day of rest, and boy did we take advantage of it! We slept just about all day since we had gotten four hours sleep the night before and when we did take breaks from slumber we ate quite a lot. Sunday night we ordered our first Chinese take away in a long time, paired with bed, a glass of wine and a new film to watch it was a perfect night to end my incredible week of birthday celebrations.

XO

Happy Little Things: April

Weather

The weather again this month has been incredible, it's been so sunny and hot and lovely! I really really hope it keeps up and comes back again in summer because I could really get used to the heat on my body. It's like I'm bathing in sun rays with a glorious breeze every now and then, like natures air conditioning. Not to mention the sun is like a natural mood enhancer.


Portugal

This month we booked a holiday with a group of friends and I'm so excited about it, it feels like a lifetime since I've been on holiday. I haven't been on holiday much throughout my life and this time it's to somewhere new so it's a new adventure altogether! June can't come quick enough.
 
Shorts

Tagging along with the great weather we've had, some days (some being the operative word in this sentence...) have been even nice enough for shorts and it gets me in such a good mood.

"No make up" make up

This month I've been loving, lov-ing, no make up make up even for nights out with a slightly stronger contour and a bold, bright lip. It's so effortless for spring and I feel like it's going to be a strong contender for summer too! 

XO 

My To Do: May

 

1. Buy holiday bits

2. Control portion sizes 

3. Tone up a small bit 

4. Get phone fixed

5. Finish reading Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

XO